There aren’t words to describe the raw and real feelings of heartbreak. You can’t know what it’s like until you’re knee-deep in it… feeling all of the fractures, looking at the shattered parts…working on trudging out one muddy step at a time.
That’s where I’m at. Right now. Right at this second. In the middle of messy, muddy heartbreak.
But please, before you start to take to pity on me, let me tell you something. My heart is broken, but I am not. I am not bitter. I am not angry. I am not lost or confused or destined for lifelong depression.
I am sad, though. & this is going to take some time. I am going to have to sit in this process and just be for a while. I am very sure it won’t be easy and even more sure that it will be uncomfortable. But I have a feeling it will be good. Very good.
So today I choose to take lessons from the trees.
They teach me how to let go gracefully with every leaf that falls to the ground. Because there are seasons when the leaves change color and become different than they were in the green days of springtime… and the trees don’t stop the leaves from changing.
They allow them to burst in shades of vibrant, glorious colors and when it’s time – they let them go. Without question. Without envy. Without strife.
They let those beautiful things go with grace. & I will too.